School supplies

The Alien Child is starting his classes at college again-his last semester! He graduates in December. He called with the price of books: Political Science books are very expensive, apparently. The total cost for books including tax is $619.50. As many used ones as he could find. Dear heaven.

He is also taking a required elective, this time karate, a physical education class. One of the supplies he will need is an athletic cup, because karate is a contact sport, and there is always the chance of an inadvertent hit on a vulnerable spot. He didn't know how much these cost, as he has not bought one of these before, and of course it is not an item he would buy at the University's bookstore. However, being the good and helpful Mom that I am, I did a quick search on the Internet for prices. It is an awkward thing to do on one's work computer, even if it's done during lunch time. Especially lunch time.

I have long been aware that men tend to name their "thang," but did not realize this tendency extends to anything they may own that may be in contact with it. It is not enough that it is discreetly called an athletic cup. No, these items must be given creative names, even friendly, let's-go-out-and-have-a-beer-after-the-game names.

I suppose these are named by the manufacturer's marketing department--or the owner. I can imagine a big burly guy, someone used to coaching various sports, one of those hail-fellow-well-met sorts who has a fierce protective instinct toward his fellow man, gazing at the advertising proofs with a disgusted eye: "Athletic cup--that's a weenie name. We've got to have a manly name, something that tells the guys we're there for 'em. We're protecting their damn jewels, by God! And sizes--dangit, folks we're not having anything called 'small' in this company!"

Hence, we have such athletic cups as the best-selling "Nutty Buddy," which differs in price depending on the size, from the "Hammer" (child size), to the "Boss," "Hog," and last but obviously not least, "Mongo." I have no knowledge of what these mean in terms of objective measurement.

Yes, I had a difficult time communicating this as I reported these different size names to the AC. I may even have been rendered incomprehensible when I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I am a bad Mom.

Ah, the things I discover while buying school supplies.