Unbalanced

The Alien Child came home today from college for Thanksgiving, thinner, more confident, and hasn't stopped eating since he came home. Perhaps not coincidentally, he arrived just as the hubby and I sat down for dinner. Good thing I made extra.

I commented that he seemed to be more at ease with himself, and he said that he finally understands that being different is okay, and he has figured that not being the most popular person on campus is probably a good sign, since when you look at all the geniuses and high-achieving people in history, they didn't particularly get along all that great with others, and in fact were unbalanced. Look at authors, for instance. They weren't balanced people.

An image came to me of various captains of industry, walking along, ever so tilted, pounding tables and drinking strong black coffee that spilled out one side of their cup.

I righted my cup andI eyed him sternly. "I'm balanced. I have a family, people like me, I do normal things, like go to church, knit, and do bake-sale stuff. Except, of course, I'm tough, kind of like a female Clint Eastwood."

He said, "No, you're unbalanced, too. You just have friends who are as unbalanced as you are, which is why they like you. "

Luckily for him, he mentioned Johann Sebastian Bach and Isaac Newton before I gave in to the impulse to whack him. Newton was man passionate for mathematics. Was he a people person? No. He was not a well-rounded sort. Did Bach work out every day? Or did he sit around writing music all day? Not a balanced life.

I did protest that Bach was married and had children, which was pretty normal, and he also invented the blueprint. The Boy pointed out having 20 children--all musical, for that matter--was not normal, and neither was writing 20 manuscript pages a day of music. Plus, his blueprint invention was done in the course of pursuing music and making a musical instrument. Bach, in essence was obsessed by music, and obsessions by definition make for unbalanced people. I had to concede that writing 20 pages a day was not normal, particularly as how I could never make it past 15 myself without courting ill health, and I consider myself doing extremely well if I manage 8. He rattled off other people of note who led unbalanced lives: Jane Austen, Albert Einstein, Beethoven.

Unbalanced. Well, I suppose being so is not so bad, considering the rest of the folk he considers unbalanced.

He, of course, considers himself unbalanced. I'm looking at him, thinking, okay. No lack of self-esteem there, and maybe more than a little of ego talking. And maybe, just a bit of compensation for the normal rocky adjustments in one's Freshman year of college. He's changed, discovered a few things about himself. He's less judgemental about others than most of his peers, and though he knows he's different, it doesn't seem to bother him as much as it used to.

Changed or not, it's good to have him home again. His hugs are just as huggy, and his face brightened up when he saw us. "I'm glad to see you, Mom and Dad," he said. "I really missed you."

I'm sure he'll change more as he goes through college. But our Boy is still there, and he's as loving as ever. If that's unbalanced, we'll tilt along with him.

--Karen H.