Friday, August 10, 2007

End of Summer

t’s been a nose-to-the-grindstone summer, so much so that I now look up and am startled to find that it’s near the end, or at least in the way I mark it, and that is of course when the Alien Child returns to college. That’s this weekend. And I haven’t even finished the Freddie Kruger sweater.

We’ll be driving across to the eastern edge of the state, in Pullman, WA, where Washington State University resides. I try to focus on the trip, on the landscape that varies greatly in that almost 300-mile distance. We’ll be going through the lush forests of western Washington and the Cascade mountains, and then down into Ellensburg and the central plains. There’s desert descending into the Columbia Gorge all the way almost to the town of Othello, and then it becomes thousands of acres of rolling wheatfields from there to Colfax, a veritable golden sea into the Palouse hills that surround the town of Pullman. It truly is beautiful, and helps distract me from that pang I still get when the Child leaves home once again.

I half wonder if I haven’t finished the sweater yet because it’s still something to hold onto that says I’m still his Mom, and that it’ll give me something to send him in the mail, a traditional “care package” that parents send their children when they’re away. Or, this line of thought could just be an excuse for not finishing that sweater in time for his departure.

Regardless, I need to make sure it’s the proper length before he goes. It’s done enough (I’ve knitted it top-down with circular needles, though I had to unstitch the top back and knit it back and forth to give more length in the back) so that I can fit it on him to see if the front and back is even. As for the sleeves, since he and his dad have about the same arm length, I can try it on the hubby to see if the sleeves will work.

I feel a little dissatisfied that I didn’t finish it before he left; it was a bit of Penelope-work, for sure. I would knit it, then unravel it, knit it again, then unravel to fix something that wasn’t right, and finally, it seems now to be on the right track, and all it needs is a tweak here and there, and a finishing of the sleeves to be complete.

It seems a signal of the changes that the Alien Child has been undergoing this year. He’ll be a junior this year, and has undergone a great number of changes, developed into something that’s better knit, better shaped, than when he first came home. He had a difficult sophomore year having experienced the death of a friend and the despair that accompanies the shock of a young life cut short; severe illness; and his first serious relationship where I know he’d given his heart, and I suspect is in the process of having it if not broken, then quite bruised.

He’d made some unwise choices while in that despairing sophomore year, but seems to have righted himself, making healthier ones, and becoming very physically fit. He’s dealt with the disappointment of an extremely difficult job search this summer (searched for a summer job since early May, didn’t get a job until late July, and trust me, he walked anywhere between five and ten miles each day from business to business, applying for jobs, from Tukwila, Kent, Auburn, and Federal Way). Good thing he worked out every day; the warehouse job he eventually got demanded moving 50 to 100 lb boxes 8 to 10 hours a day. He was glad to do it. I’ll say one thing for him: he’s not afraid of hard work, and actually sees it as an interesting challenge.

He’s taken another look at his direction—and has figured out a major he thinks he can put his considerable brain into. Looks like he’ll be majoring in political science and perhaps minoring in journalism or literary criticism. He actually mentioned getting a graduate degree some day. Which I think suits him, actually.

And yet, he’s unfinished, though he’s knit up well this summer. I won’t see if he’ll go through more unraveling, or whether he’s far enough along now that he can go on to finishing without much of a hitch. We’ll see, I guess. He’s not one to communicate through e-mail, so I won’t know. I have a feeling, though, that he won’t unravel much, and will knit up just fine.

I worry, because that’s what moms do, but I’ll focus on the sweater, and know that he's knit himself up so far into a fine young man, and all he needs is finishing.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wrong text message

A funny thing just happened. I looked at my cell phone this morning and saw that I had a text message from last night. So I looked at it, and to my surprise, it was from no number I recognized, and it said this:

19.5 inches, 7 lbs 13 ounces, 10:18 pm, April 10 2007.

I think you can guess what that was about. So I checked all my phone numbers (it was a Seattle number) and the number on the text didn't match any that I had. So I text messaged back, saying, "Congratulations! It looks like you have a baby. But I think you have the wrong number. I don't know who you are."

I got another message that said, "this is Dennis. Is this Brittany?"

I texted back and said, "Not Brittany. Don't know any Dennis either. Congrats anyway. Best wrong number text I've ever seen."

I think that new dad probably had a very long day yesterday.

Congrats to Dennis, Dennis's wife, and new baby, whoever you are. And Brittany, you SO missed out.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Bad Mom

So, once again, my son has lost his cell phone. I got a call from a lady saying that she had found it, and that the next time I contact him, he should call her. But, how do I contact him?

I tried e-mail, but he rarely checks it. Besides, by the time he gets around to checking it, my e-mail will no doubt be way down the list, and he'll not see it. So, I decided for a while to send an e-mail once day, just to keep it up at the top of the e-mail list in his inbox.

It grew boring. So I decided to put such titles as "Day One: the Missing Cell Phone," "Day Two: The Mystery of Derek's Cell Phone--Revealed!" in the subject header, just to bring some attention to the e-mail. No dice, since when I called, I just got voice mail; I can assume from this that he still hasn't retrieved his cell phone.

I realized then, that I was thinking "old-school." His generation doesn't really think in terms of e-mail. That's for late boomer/gen xers. No, his generation thinks in terms of cell phones and text messages (which of course he can't get, since he's missing his cell) and blogs, like Blogger, MySpace, or Facebook.

He has both a MySpace and Facebook site. Now, I suspect it's not very cool to have one's mom post a comment on your MySpace comments section, especially if you're a guy. It would be embarrassing. However, what is a mother to do, especially if he doesn't look at his e-mail?

Risk embarrassing my son and get his cell phone to him, or have him go without, so that he'll miss phone calls from friends and family, be unable to contact professors, call the doctor (he's been ill recently, so...), and so on?

I thought to myself, I am SO all over that embarrassment route. After all, I've embarrassed him on and off most of his life. I wouldn't be a real parent if I didn't embarrass him at one point or another.

So I posted a comment on his MySpace page: "Your cell phone has been found. Check your e-mail. --Mom."

Such a contrast to the rest of his MySpace page. Indeedy.

He will probably not want to talk to me the rest of this semester if he sees that. Possibly the rest of the year.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm a Bad Mom. :-)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Yarn, more yarn

The more I wrangle with my writing, the more I spin yarn. This is actually a good thing. If I didn't spin yarn, I would have writer's block worse than I do already. Spinning yarn is a soothing activity, and keeps the highly critical part of myself subdued, if not silent. Whenever I get stuck, I spin yarn, and within 15 minutes, I know what I need to write or revise.

However. This does mean that I also knit all of the yarn that I make. It builds up. My office is 1/3 desk and writing materials, 1/3 books and research materials, and 1/3 yarn. And filling up rapidly to the point where the yarn is beginning to crowd out the rest of my stuff.

So, I've resorted to selling the yarn. I did begin selling them at eBay, but now I've switched to Etsy, a web site at which artisans, artists, and craftspeople can sell their handmade and homemade goods. It's less of a busy-looking place, and has very fun ways to search through different artists' stores.

As a result, the more yarn (as in, yardage) I have up there to sell, the more snags I've hit in my writing.

(sigh)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Good heavens













The Alien Child is no longer a child today!



Well, he hasn't been legally a child for quite a while, at least since he was 18. But now he's 20! No longer a teenager!


How am I do deal with that? It makes me no longer the mother of a teen, but of a 20-something!



It means I am creeping--no, have definitely stepped--into middle age. Oh, I could fool myself that I was not quite there for a while. I had a teenager, after all, and that meant he was not really, truly adult. But now my offspring is now an adult. What does that make me? I can't deny it any longer...I am truly middle aged.






Well...he isn't out of college yet. That's something. I can still tell myself, "oh, he's not quite there yet. After all, he's in school."


Having a son or daughter in school means you can still maintain some illusion of youthfulness, of not-quite-middle-ageness.




Of course, no matter how old he is, I will still see him as my child. My own mother, after all, still does the same about my brothers and me. I haven't taken a picture of the Alien Child now that he's 20. However, I will, later. For now, I'll post a few of him through the years.


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Be an abolitionist!

Says National Geographic about the modern slave trade:

"There are more slaves today than were seized from Africa in four centuries of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. The modern commerce in humans rivals illegal drug trafficking in its global reach—and in the destruction of lives."

This Sunday, February 18, find a group (see singer list below) and sing your lungs out to end slavery in the world:

http://www.amazinggracesunday.com/us/index.html

Sign the petition:

http://www.amazingchange.com/


And here is a map of the groups that are singing Amazing Grace this Sunday in support of ending slavery:

http://www.amazinggracesunday.com/us/include/singer_list.php

It's in conjunction with the movie "Amazing Grace," which is about the British member of Parliament, William Wilberforce's campaign to end the slave trade, as well as about John Newton, his mentor, the ex-slave trader who wrote the hymn, Amazing Grace.

If you belong to a group or are an individual--you don't have to be in a church, although the site is geared toward churches--that is interested in both singing Amazing Grace this Sunday and supporting the end of slavery, you can sign up for it, as well as sign the petition.

The singer list shows groups and churches in each state that are sponsoring the sing-in.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Emerald City Conference

Got back from the RWA Emerald City Conference in Bellevue, WA. Saw friends, met new people, gave a talk on historical cycles, the publishing market, and how to fit one’s book into that market. I’m going to post my notes up on my web site in PDF form once I get them in shape. I think. Or maybe I’ll just note that I have them and if anyone’s interested, I can e-mail them. That might be better.

Ugh. Tired now. I love going to conferences--I learn so much. But by the end, I’m TIRED. I’ll post more later.

--Karen H.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Sad

Sad news: My son’s friend/fraternity brother did not make it. The Child and his fraternity brothers have gone to the funeral. The thought of the loss of a young man, a good young man, is heartbreaking, and I cannot imagine--no, I don’t want to imagine--what his family must be going through right now. It’s too painful.

The reality is that death does not pick and choose, but strikes with seeming unreason, and no one escapes it. In that, it is bitterly dependable. What is not so dependable is our reaction to it. I look at my son and his fraternity brothers, however, and I am glad they have the character and heart to come to the side of a friend and his family, sit vigil, and do what they can in their young and earnest way to support the family in their loss. I don’t know how many would take the effort and tirelessly travel all that way to support and pay respects to someone who is not related, and was known for only a short time. It is easy to run from death, and look the other way, because it is a fearful thing.

These are good young men. My son will always be “my boy,” but the image of him as an adult is stronger now than the small, chubby-cheeked little one I keep in my heart, when I think of him dealing with this shock and grief as an adult in a way that makes me proud. He is a good person, as are his friends. Death simply is, but good people look at it plainly, and continue to be good. And this, in light of this terrible event, comforts me.

--Karen H.

Worries

        The Alien Child called yesterday, saying he was heading home--or at least to this side of the mountains, a trip of over 300 miles. It’s not a holiday, not any kind of school break. Was he expelled? (Incomprehensible thought!) Did something go wrong?

        Turns out a fraternity brother who had gone to Seattle for a football game got into a serious traffic accident (not his fault, it seems), is apparently non-responsive to stimuli, and is in a coma. The bond of friendship for my son is strong, and he takes seriously the vow to support his fraternity brothers, so he and some of the young men from the fraternity are now on this side of the mountains, sitting at the bedside of their friend at a Seattle hospital.

        My heart is breaking for this young man’s family--how frightening and terrible to see their child so hurt, his life hanging by a thread. I’m praying for a miracle, that this boy will recover.

        (sigh) It means that my kid will have a lot of school work to make up, and I hope his professor will let him take the test he missed. But, given the choice, I would rather he have the kindness of heart to go to the side of a critically injured friend than get a good grade. You can take a class over again, make up a test, but comforting and supporting others in need is time that can’t be made up.

        Of course, this means I will worry about the trip back for him and his friends; we’ve had nasty weather lately, they might be in a distracted state of mind when they return home. I hope and pray they will remember to be safe, too.

--Karen H.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Revisions

        Well. I've been revising the latest manuscript, and oy! Got it back a while ago from my editor who said it Just Didn't Work and that It Must Be Fixed. Part of me groaned and just wished that stack of papers I received in the mail would go away. I have other ideas, other stories that want to be written. The Muse is impatiently tapping her foot, wanting me to done with it already. She can't seem to understand that having the story down on paper does not mean it's done.

        Another part of me impatiently wants to delve into the revisions so that I can sculpt the story into something better, elegant in form and stature. There's something enormously satisfying about the revision process; it's a different sort of magic from the sheer raw creative first draft. You read through the raw material and hone in on one thing to fix, and then click, click, click! A string of domino-motifs snakes through the plot, theme, and characters and ties everything together. When things click like that, it's almost a physical sensation of rightness.

        It's frustrating though; doing extensive revisions in the way see it'll need to be done demands some long, focused time, which is in short supply since I'm working full time outside the home. By the time I come home and am done with dinner, I'm tired and my mind refuses to concentrate in the way it should. So, that leaves the weekend; 10 hours at least per weekend should do the trick.

        I feel tired just thinking of it.

        Actually, I'm looking at the clock and it's past 11 pm, and that’s probably why I'm feeling tired. So, off to bed. With luck, I'll have some time during lunch tomorrow to work on the revisions.