Learning through joy

Most of us believe that we have to suffer to learn life's lessons, bear some kind of pain to achieve growth, and all that.

I''m going to suggest something different: it's possible to learn through joy.

I'm not putting down anyone who has traveled the rocky road (and I'm not talking about ice cream here, although if someone has grown emotionally or spiritually by ingesting chocolate ice cream, I want to hear about it), because hey, been there done that, and it's been valuable. But when I look back on that road, most of those rocks were ones I put there myself out of stubbornness or impatience or whatever other one of the seven deadlies you want to name, including the worst--despair. Sometimes it was out of ignorance or inexperience. It happens.

But there are times of great and little joys, and for some reason we tend to discount them, as if they were trivial or fleeting and thus not worth consideration. The times of laughter can't mean as much as the times of grief or anger. Those depressing ideas are pervasive. Think about it: how many times have comedies won the Academy Award compared to dramas? Not a whole lot.

However, it is in those times of laughter that our defenses are down, and we let the truth in. What makes us laugh is not something that threatens us, even though it may be something that's presented to us in a surprising or unusual way. Even when it's something as simple as a pun, there is a connection established nevertheless, the twinkling eyes of the punster meeting the rolling ones of the audience because there is an understanding that yes, they are on the same page, they "get it." Right there, you know that the presentation of a surprise, of some change in your understanding is fine, is good, is at least not going to hurt you or anyone else in any real way. An intellectual or emotional connection with your fellow human beings is a generally good thing.

And yes, I have know punsters who have committed very egregious puns, and I still maintain it's a good thing.

Then there are the other times of laughter or joy--the birth of a much desired child (would that all births of children were welcomed!), the touch of a tender hand, words of praise sincerely given, the joy of giving and watching another's face light with pleasure. These are not just mindless instances, but opportunities to learn, to grow. Dwell in the knowledge that you are worth a tender touch, the praise, that you have the power to bring joy. These are empowering things, and if you don't have a certain amount of power, how will you grow?

It takes power--energy--to grow. If a flower refuses the touch of the sun, shrinks from taking in water, it will most certainly not grow. And yet, people will shrink from the warmth of love, from the joy of acknowledging the gifts of others, and their own gifts. That's not growing, or I should say, it's the hard road to growth, because first you feel the hurt and the darkness before you get the idea, oh, wait, that love and joy stuff was all right after all. It'd be a lot easier to acknowledge the joy right from the start.

So if you're given a moment of joy, dwell in it. Sink yourself in it and revel in it. You may learn a lot more than you think.

--Karen H.