Reverence

Reverence: n, A feeling or attitude of deep respect, tinged with awe; veneration.

For some reason this morning, I don't know why, Mr. Rogers came to mind. Maybe because I was thinking of my son, now at Washington State University, going through finals week. When Derek was a toddler, he was a big fan of Mr. Rogers. He'd watch the show every day, and when he'd hear the beginning music, he'd run to his room and grab his little red cardigan, and put it on just like Mr. Rogers would, then watch with deep attention and be absolutely still and quiet the whole time. God bless Mr. Fred Rogers for that quiet time! He was good at making kids feel secure, and I think that feeling persisted. In fact, when Derek went to high school, he wore a tan cardigan that his friends would teasingly say was his Mr. Rogers sweater. He'd wear it anyway, because he still thinks Mr. Rogers was a cool guy, and there's nothing wrong with remembering someone who is cool. He still wears his Mr. Rogers cardigan even today, though I'll need to repair it since it's getting a bit tattered.

There's a certain self-assurance in persisting in something you like simply because you like it, never mind anyone else's opinion. It grows out of a feeling that you're liked just the way you are, which of course was what Mr. Rogers always said, believed, and acted upon. It came from his belief that the space between him in his television show and his audience was holy ground.

When I first heard that, it profoundly affected me. It's an amazing attitude. It meant that he thought of each child out there, each parent, with reverence. What he'd say was carefully considered, not with himself in mind, but with that whole person out there in mind. He thought of them with consideration, respect, and even awe. There's every indication from other people's reports that Mr. Rogers genuinely had that attitude and acted on it. He studied child psychology and had advisors to ensure that his show was geared toward the child in a gentle, reassuring manner. Where children were coming from was of great importance, and it seemed he had that attitude toward adults, too. Mr. Rogers had always with him an attitude of reverence. He cared about where people were coming from.

It's the winter holiday season right now, and whatever anyone might think of it religiously, politically, or socially, it's archetypally a holiday that symbolizes light in the midst of darkness, plenty in the midst of famine, love in the midst of fear, forgiveness in the midst of hurt. I don't want to get into what this season "should" be called. Right now, for a long time now, people have been fighting over words and things that offend them. I'm seeing people being offended right and left. They're not looking into where other people are coming from or where they are. All that matters is that they're offended, and what the other person intended, felt, or have in their hearts doesn't matter. A lot of people are getting into that and fighting about it, and I am barely keeping hold of the reverence idea because I want to say a pox on both your houses, but this is not what this holiday is about.

This holiday is about being Pollyannas, and even better, being Mr. Rogerses, because he was a real guy who did his best to live a life of reverence with respect to his neighbors, and his Neighborhood was really big. It's about knowing there is dark all around you, and it's getting darker, but there is light to be found anyway. It's about acknowledging there's anger in you, but finding the love and giving it to others. It's about not wanting to forgive, but forgiving. And it's about thinking you don't have much, but giving anyway.

Because if you can do any of that, you know you haven't hit bottom. And even if you have hit bottom, guess what? There's only one way left to go after you've hit bottom, especially if you've got yourself in a small, dark hole, and that direction is up. There's a lot of hope in that.

I'd like to suggest that we do the Mr. Rogers thing and think about the space between ourselves and other people as holy ground. Whatever tradition you were raised in, there are certain things you do when you encounter that space. Some people take their shoes off and let the goodness flow up from their feet and into their spirits; they connect themselves with it physically. Some take their hats off to let the divine pour down on their heads. Some dance. Some sing. Some hold out a helping hand. Some mix and match the above. But whatever it is they do, it comes from that reverent place within, that respectful place that has the ability to wonder and perceive the world--and the world includes people!--with awe and joy.

It's what's at the core of love. "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

So when someone says "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," "Happy Hannukah," "Happy Kwanzaa" or a "Serene Buddha Enlightenment Day," let's get past the words to where they're at, which is that they're giving you a greeting and a blessing and wishing you well in the best way they understand, and from their heart. It's from who they are as unique individuals. And if you're doing the Mr. Rogers holy ground attitude, you'll know they're doing it, too.

In a world where there's a lot of pain, want, and worry, I don't think we should be so picky. Blessings and good wishes are to be cherished, in whatever form they might take. In my personal tradition, if it's good, it comes from God, and I notice that God likes to surprise us by disguising the good stuff so we can discover them, like Belgian chocolates tucked in the toes of Christmas stockings. It may take a bit of digging, but it's there to find. It may not look like something we'd like, but we never know until we try it. 

After all, if chocolate didn't have pretty wrappers on them with the words "chocolate" printed on them, those little brown lumps would make you think they're something else, especially if you kept your distance when you look at them. Luckily, someone overcame their initial impression, and got up close and personal with chocolate, so now we can have them in stockings and wrapped up as presents, or mixed in Godiva ice cream.

So from where I'm at, standing right here on holy ground and from my heart, I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, and a Wonderful New Year.

--Karen H.